A couple months ago if you were to ask me what I thought this summer was going to be like I probably wouldn't have given you a very positive answer. I was dreading living by myself and having my closet friends thousands of miles away instead of next door, down a flight of stairs or across campus. I quickly came to the realization that God was going to turn my world upside down, shatter my expectations and stretch me in ways I never thought possible. The beginning of the summer was hard. I struggled with things I never thought I would, I lost a family member but at the end of the day he was constantly calling me to run to him...this time with no distractions. It was just me and him. I fought it and a part of me still does occasionally but it is different. He has taught me a lot about myself, the sin in my life and the grace he extends to me even though I fall short everyday. I have learned to appreciate the verse that says, "His mercies are new EVERY morning!"
For the first time in my life there are things I am learning to take to heart instead of just hearing them or reading over them. He couldn't have broke my heart and started to put the pieces back together in any other environment. I praise him for providing for me in so many ways this summer! With all that said I have gotten used to living by myself and enjoy the solitude. Even though I thought I would never say it I think I am going to miss it a little. It is going to be an adjustment moving back into the dorms and living next to so many people but I am also really excited to have everyone back! Praise God for this summer and the ways he worked in my heart and I pray that moving back into the dorms I would continue to passionately pursue him and from that everything else would fall into place.
My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it. -Brennan Manning
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